AGAIN!!!! :D

I've got a two story anthology for sale at this link... http://www.eternalpress.ca/wantonwenches.html

Go buy and enjoy...please???? :D

I know this is a bit late, but been busy and distracted by other things.

But, I'm finally able to write about March 1st's Voyager party slash B-day party. :D

Sir and I were having the Voyager's party at our house.  The demo was "take downs and rough body play".   And Sir and I were the Presenter's demoees.  First off...IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME!!!!

Before party the Presenter came over and we talked about how the presentation was going to go and limits and negotiating.  I did not realize until questioned a whole lot that I really do NOT like my face being slapped.  The other issue is I don't like being tied up and then ignored...but that's not a deal breaking thing unless you actually do completely ignore me for rest of evening and when you're done ignoring me you untie and done.  Then I would be FUCKING pissed. 
Anyway, now that we had things hashed out, people started showing up.  Presenter did ask if I had ducktape and pillow cases.  I handed them over and knew they would be used.  No problem. 
Here's the thing everyone, including myself.  The most difficult thing to do when it comes to take down scenes is to catch the takee off guard.  Even harder when you first have to negotiate the scene.  Presenter and I even talked outside while people were arriving about what could possibly happen in scene.  And one time the pillow case was even tested on me for effectiveness.  So, I knew pillow case is coming.  I knew ducktape was coming.  When presentation was going on I was just waiting for when he would demonstrate pillow case and ducktape. 

While he was talking he had attendees telling him the things he shouldn't have on his person...for safety of course.  So when he handed me his pocket items, which included a lighter which I know to a smoker is something not to be messed with, and asked me to give them to his partner I happily obliged.  I was so focused on giving them to her that I was truly caught off guard when the pillowcase came over my head!!!!  And then the fun began!! 

Yes, I could have easily been taken down in 10 seconds flat.  But what's the point in that????  So there was give and take and good old fashion wrestling and struggling.  But, there was some shock to the presenter when I was VERY difficult when it came to ducktaping my hands and feet together.  And when he tried subduing me by pulling my hair he found that didn't exactly make me slow down. hehehehe!!!!  He did unfortunately find that gripping the hell out of my breast was pretty effective.  OUCHIE!!!!  With the help of Sir and Presenter's partner, I was eventually put into a chair and they tried to ducktape me to chair.  But, I got my feet free and then I started gnawing at tape around my wrists and got them free they called an end to the take down.  Well...we did have to get back to the presentation for the audience.  And a take down can be very exhausting.  But, oh such a GREAT feeling!!!! :D

We didn't get to play after that.  The party was great and everyone seemed to have a great time, but I became host and then our bed got damaged so mood for us was kinda shot out of the sky.

Sir and I did get scene Sunday night for my Birthday!  He tied me to our ottoman and proceeded to give me my B-day spankings with some toys.  There was the flogger (34 strokes), leather paddle (34 strokes), snake tongue (34 strokes), big cane (but...34 strokes), smaller cane (I can't! 34 strokes), maori paddle (oh gods! 34 strokes!!!!) and then fucked...HARD!!!!  So blissful!!!!

Now, my mind has been racing towards the GWNN party.  I've been daydreaming of another take down.  By the same people too please!!!!  I mean, the presentation was kind of a tease.  What I'm wishing for is the take down and then the intensely hard scene after.  

As I said...Please Sir, may I have some more? :D

Plus to just write down a realization about myself when it comes to this BDSM lifestyle of mine and for my own horrible memory to have something more permanent.

I want to be captured...abducted....made to do things and endure things that is supposedly bad.  Like having forced sex and enduring torturous pain and all that stuff.

Now, I've learned I can't be a slave...but that still doesn't make me wish I can have my will bent enough that I actually am slavish to my Master.  But the funny thing is I fantasize more about the bending/breaking than I do about the aftermath. 

When I learned the meaning of the consecutive arrangement of the letters BDSM, my fantasies bloomed from one scenario.  Me running in the woods trying to keep from being caught by whoever is chasing me.  But...I get caught and they tie me to a tree or between trees or face down/up on the ground or over a log or whatever and have their evil ways with me.  Beat me, cane me, fuck me...whatever.  The gist is I am caught and I have absolutely NO control. 

I want that.  I need that.  Doesn't have to be in the woods...I'm actually too scared that while hiding in woods I'll get bit by spiders or snakes and well...that doesn't make for a happy scene.  But I want the surprise, unexpected, and unplanned abduction and lasts longer than a couple of hours scene.  I would SO love a scenario that lasts the whole weekend.  Gods that would be SO cool!!!!

Anyway, someday. 

My skeleton in my closet, which isn't very well hidden at all, is I like tentacle porn...aka hentai.  I like monsters with large cocks and tentacles that are way too big for any human woman to be able to take and yet in these cartoons, they do.  Now, I don't think I could ever actually live out one of those movies.  Some of them require being torn into two and well...that whole dying thing for me isn't in my schedule book for another 100yrs at minimum. 
Anyway, can't help adoring the make believe and raping of poor small girls with monster dicks.  And I just don't go for the oriental versions.  There are sites all over that have drawn pictures and 3D (those are my favorite) pictures of women being impaled.  I've also been looking at the really hardcore bondage pics.  Usually these kind have a death thing to follow or damage that is ireversible and again...not wanting that myself but the "close to danger" or whatever still works. 

Every-now-and-then, I come up with some story in my head and it involves some beasty.  So, I wrote down it's details.  Figured what better place to log it but in here.  So...here's an alien yummy that's been frequenting my imagination for about 2 or more months now.

It's not of this Earth. 
The males: Tall and muscular...ogre like.  over 7ft.
Of course has claws, but on it's entire palms and fingers it has little spikes.  They don't really pierce the skin but definitely abrade it.  The purpose is that the female's skin emits an aphrodisiac pheromone when abraded.
There is also little spikes just above the male's penis that does the same thing to female's clitoris.
The penis is average 14-16inches in length and 10-14inches around. 
Behind the head of the penis a spike comes out during male's orgasm piercing the inside of the female and injecting her with an aphrodisiac and when female orgasms the aphrodisiac is moved throughout body inhancing her orgasm.  If same female is injected a second time by same male that aphrodisiac is 1 1/2 times more powerful than last injection.  It continues to grow exponentially with each following injection.  This helps ensure that female stays with same male until pregnancy occurs.  Pregnancy is rare.

Now the fantasy that involved such a beasty?  The human girl was kidnapped by an alien race and was doing studies on her bodies reactions to constant stimulation without orgasm.  What they did was bring her to orgasms to find out which part of brain triggers the orgasm. Once found they implanted a chip that blocked that trigger.  Of course, this is only the trigger for the realease...everything else is still felt and built up to the orgasm but with trigger blocked...no orgasm.  Once implanted they keep her continuously arose and stimulated for solid 2weeks.  And if ever try to run away or do anything wrong then she gets punished.  The punishment is the beasty gets to fuck her 'till he cums.  When he cums he injects her with aphrodisiac, but again, with trigger blocked she can't orgasm.  So, the aphrodisiac does not get moved throughout body.  And every time she is visited upon by beasty she gets injected by 1 1/2 times more with each visit.  According to aliens one human girl had only one injection and her orgasm lasted over 30minutes solid.  Another human had two injection and it lasted 3 or so hours solid.  By the time my fantasy was even coming to a close she's already had 5 injections and working on the sixth and still had two days left in her two weeks before they deactivate the chip. 

Yes...I'm a freak!  And damn proud of it!!!!  Now...if only there was some way I could get a picture of my little beasty. ;)

the OH-SO-SWEET pain!!!!  All in the inner upper thigh area.  No, didn't get spanked or whipped there.  The pain is from having two powerful orgasms with legs tied apart.  The straining of trying to close legs during orgasm has caused much stress on those muscles.  Sweet bliss!! :D

Oh, last night was delightful!!!!  Better than I thought it would be.   I think the finding and picking a bondage position was a SUCCESS!!!!  It took away the whole "grab a scene spot and start fumbling around and guessing what we're going to do" thing.  Yes, it took a bit to get the set up, but that was better because both of us were focused on it.  Instead of Sir trying to think up  a  position and implement it and me just staring at him trying to figure out what he's up to. 

We got to the party at about 8:45pm and it was a bit cold so I stayed in my cloak for awhile before actually showing off my outfit.  I was wearing a purple long loin cloth and a triangle top.  I was barefoot and wearing an awsome purple mask with feathers on top and a curtain of beads from nose to chin on bottom.  Lovely! 

There was another rule added, arms clasped behind back, but unfortunately that one didn't stick very well.  It was cold so I was keeping my cape on and closed in front of me.  I had to carry food.  When cape did come off, I was either eating or holding onto Sir's hand as we were walking.  I am thinking that particular rule will do better at a warmer party so that we can implement it from the very beginning upon arrival of party. 

The no clit touching was still in affect and stayed that way throughout the evening until I asked this morning if I was released from it.  I was...barely.  *WHEW*

Tonight is GWNN party night.  I'm hoping for great fun and torment. :D

So far, a rule that I didn't come up with (all these rules and tasks I thought up and Sir just looks right past them *grumbling*) that is implemented for all day today and into the evening is I can not touch my clit.  Of course, he's been running his fingers around my clit, and blowing on my clit but his actual touching of my clit have been very far and few in between.  I'm already shaking with the yearning and it's only 3pm.  Party don't start for another 4 hours!!!!   OIY!!!!

Also, I went looking for a possible position to do tonight.  Found one!!!!  Can't wait.  Found this on a site called Free-Hardcore.com.  It's a site that lets you link up to various bondage sites and lets you see preview samples of their movies.  This one came from the Hogtied site. 


The gist is three spreader bars.  One for feet, one for knees, and one for the hands behind back.  One of the things we're thinking of to expose butt for whipping is have feet bar lifted up and tied to poll behind me.  Another idea is to put a bar/pole or whatever in center of bar and putting dildo on end and shoving that into pussy.  This position is versatile and it doesn't cause any of my joints to ache from being closed up.  I SO CAN'T WAIT FOR PARTY TONIGHT. 

I'm not allowed to touch my clit!  *whimper*

Last week, Saturday, Sir and I went to a party.  The discussion was "how to train a submissive".  It was a good discussion.  The only complaint I had was it stayed on the subject of punishment without really going into details of actually training the submissive.  Now, that doesn't mean discussion was bad.  Actually, with the uncountable methods of training a sub and the details, like creating protocols, punishment, rules, daily things vs weekly vs monthly protocols...this could have gone alllll night.  So, Sir and I that night got the different ways of punishing a submissive during their training. 

One thing that was established in the discussion is the difference of submissive vs slave vs masochist.  Yes, there's a difference but again, each person has their own opinions and ways of thought and well that also could take allll night. 

In my way of thinking, slave is an all out, service to their Master/Mistress with nary a word against them.  They give up complete control of themselves to their Master/Mistress.  In my last post, I stated that I'm realizing I'm SO not a slave.

A submissive is someone who still has most control of their own life but is submissive in actions, be it in bed or out of bed.  They have a high tendency to want to make the other happy and satisfied in all things over their own happiness/satisfaction.  But, they also kinda need their happiness and satisfaction met too.  It's a tricky balance but doable.  I am very submissive in bed and not so much out of bed.  I'm trying to be more submissive out of bed but yeaaaaaa...that's a bit more difficult.  In bed I very much get off on the satisfaction of my Sir then off from my own satisfaction.

A masochist is all about the pain.  The more pain they get the more high on endorphins they get.  They are also get off on situations that could cause emotional discomfort or pain. 

There are many people I know that can only do one and others that can do all three.  I consider myself the masochistic submissive.  I want to submit and serve my Sir in bed and out of bed and be controlled by his words and acts.  And I want him to tie me up and beat the hell out of me.  :D 

No, we didn't scene that night.  But I've been thinking of that discussion and the following threads on e-mail lists and I've kinda been nodding at a couple of points.  Sir and I have been trying to get deeper into the BDSM pool and have been having some difficulty.  We try to do protocol and have been falling short.  We ask for examples but don't get very far because, well, everyone is different in their way of doing protocols.  Everything is really very personally tailored to themselves and just because they can do it so well doesn't mean another can.  And as for teaching it to another...that's even harder.  I am a trainer at my job.  I'm great at my job and am very detailed oriented and it's like second nature to me.  But to teach it to someone else...I'm wracking my brain to even figure out what I'm really supposed to teach them.  How should I present it?  How can I get across to them the thing that I don't even think about anymore, I just do?  So, I see the difficulty as to why we can't really get a straight answer.  They just do...they don't analyze what they do or how or why...they just do. 

But these discussions do open the door to reflecting.  What I've realized is Sir and I are trying for big picture by trying all out protocol.  We're too active and social and too busy to really be able to do protocol and 24/7.  We have as much of a life outside of BDSM as we do in it. 

So, on Monday, I came up with what if we just do quick rules for either just the event/night at home/party.  Or, something for the day of event/night at home/party.  Like making breakfast or some other task  or rule during the day...but after the end of the evening when all is said and done the rules are no more.  Then when the next event/night at home/party happens we do different rules or tasks.  Then after some time maybe another event will have one of the rules from prior because well it worked...wanna see if it will again.  Maybe this will be how we build our own protocol...but then I'm starting to grab the big picture again and we're trying to avoid that.  Sorry.  It's hard for me...I'm a More,more,more,now,now,now kinda person.  :)

Over the week I'm realizing I really like that idea.  I'm realizing that I myself like BDSM related tasks and rules.  Now the task of  "do the dishes" no...but cook Sir breakfast YES!  Bathe Sir...YES, do laundry...no.  I'm not a house slave.  Satisfying Sir in a way that sexually arouses him is my idea of fun.  I know that doing dishes or laundry or other house chores does not even come close to turning him on...so why should I do it.  I know it doesn't turn me on and as I mentioned earlier I'm not a slave.  I can't give up my complete selfish ways of wanting some satisfaction for me too.  And, you know what...I don't want to.  I live the BDSM lifestyle because it makes me hedonistically happy.  And I know that Sir lives it this way because of the same reason.  We both live for pleasure.  I from the submissive end and Sir from the Dominant end.  And rules are meant to be broken.  So, for the time being, protocol is in the closet gathering dust.  It's time for us to make rules so that I can figure out how to break them...or get beat trying!! ;D

Do you have an inclination for BDSM? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Submissive (((Note: This quiz is not totally comprehensive because of the length such a quiz would be. I kept it sex-based because I felt that psychological profiles and motivations were too complicated and vary too greatly among people that practice BDSM.))) It feels good to serve. A lack of control in the bedroom can be fun and relaxing. Being with a dominate person wouldn't be a bad idea. Submissive 93% Switch 86% Masochist 86% Experimental 86% Bondage 82% Exhibitionist / Voyeur 79% Sadist 64% Degradation Lover 54% Dominant 36% Vanilla 11%

I wrote this a couple of weeks ago, but I wanted to go ahead and get it put down in this journal to keep everything on same page.

What do you say to the first entry on a journal.  Well...this journal is gonna be all about my world in BDSM lifestyle.  I'm happily married, in many ways, to my Dom and I've been in the public lifestyle for 10 years now. 

The main purpose of this journal is to pass on news of any e-publications of my short stories and to hopefully get lots-o-feedback from those e-stories.  No, I will not post them on this journal...just advertise and answer lots-o-fanmail *crossing hopeful fingers*

I'll also be posting my adventures and thoughts in the BDSM world.  If I start to slack just poke me and I'll go get myself in trouble with Sir and start writing again. ;)

So...on to the advertisement.  It's still a few months away, but one of my short stories, "Careless Whisper" will be published by Eternal Press.  They are mostly e-publisher, but if something sells often enough then it goes paperback.  And THAT'S A GOOD THING!!!! :D  So, when things get closer I'll let ya know how to obtain this yummy story. :D